It’s a wonder they haven’t killed me in my sleep…

These wonderful Rudolph cat hats were sent along with an assortment of goodies for the cats, dog and humans in my household by some of my very best friend’s from college.

Needless to say, I LOVE THEM!

Merry Christmas Loves!

*kisses*

Smiley Count: 2

New Year’s…

Thought I’d share with you the Top 10 list of things not allowed at this year’s New Year’s Ever Party at my house. I speak from experience…

1) Paddling

2) Locking ourselves in bathrooms and passing out on the toilet pants-less. (Thankfully I do not have a picture of this…but believe me when I say my toilet is still not functioning like it used to…)

3) Trying to grapple off the balcony. (Oh husband and the Batman toys I buy you…)

4) Breaking into vehicles (unless it is your own and you’re locked out)

5) Setting shit on fire that’s not meant to be set on fire (ping pong balls, etc)

6) Beating up Satan in the front yard.

7) duct-taping a fake arm to a friend’s missing arm (I’m looking straight at my husband on this one)

Leave my house intoxicated and think you’re going to drive home.

9) Anything that will give Miriam the hiccups.

10) Anything that will make Miriam turn into Mom-mode.

I would like to note that people are, however, encouraged to leave copious amounts of alcohol at my house after the party…

*Kisses*

Smiley Count: 2 (technically 3)

reason #84561321 why I love emoticons? Number 8 is transformed into a Smiley Face with Shades

Holy Crapface…

How does this week end with Christmas? It doesn’t seem right. It’s still June…right? I mean, forget about the 2 inches of snow we got (in North Khakilaki, nonetheless) over the weekend. This year is almost over and I’ve got to say it might be the weirdest year ever…

More on that later. I really just wanted to come out of hiding and show you my favorite Christmas decoration this year…

Since my sister is going to have a baby in less thana  month (!) she’s been cleaning out her house in preparation. She gave me this trifle bowl a while back and it had been holding odds and ends on my table until I had to use fresh cranberries for a recipe and thought…”ooh!”

Eh, voila

*kisses*

Smiley Count: 1

The Look of Love: Weeks 15 & 16

I am a total slacker. The husband and I have had fantastic weekends for the past 2 weeks and I’ve totally forgotten to take my camera along for the ride…oh well

For this week’s “Look of Love” I thought I’d take a picture of our Halloween pumpkins. Yes, I know Thanksgiving is in 2 days but since we didn’t carve out pumpkins until the day of Halloween, I wanted to enjoy them for a while longer. And then my curiosity got the best of me and I wanted to see how long it would take for them to decay…

A refresher on what our freshly carved jack-o-lanterns looked like:

Batman and Wanda Sue

And now behold…the power of 24 days!

Wanda Sue is holding up nicely, no? I mean yeah, she’s a little long in the tooth (ha!) but she’s nothing compared to the epic decay that is Batman. Everyday I come home thinking that Wanda Sue will have finally let gravity take it’s toll, but let me tell you, she is one tough broad!

*kisses*

Smiley Count: 3

Hiccups…

I thought it would be nice if I continued this story…

To preface: the husband and I have a friend, Steven, who is missing about half of his left arm. It’s gone from just below his elbow, allowing his to still be able to bend that joint. When you ask him how he lost it, he’ll tell you a different story every time. (I’ve been told that 1) a crocodile bit it off and 2) he was born that way)

For Halloween he bloodied up his left shirt sleeve and (for lack of a better phrase) his stump. We found this hilarious, obviously

Our friend Lori who had never met him before asked:

How long do you think it will be before your arm gets tired and you take it down?

Steven, without missing a beat began to wiggle his arm around and throroughly embarrass poor Lori. Priceless

—preface over—

Around 1am on Halloween my husband kindly asked me where the duct tape was. Without thinking I told him and then the light bulb went off…

I walked into my kitchen to find my husband had done this:

My husband duct taped a fake arm to Steven’s stump. The best part? It’s totally the correct arm…

I promptly fell on the floor in a fit of giggles and Steven offered me the help of his “strong hand” to assist me off the floor…

Cue hiccups…

*kisses*

Smiley Count: 2

**Yes, we realize we’re totally going to hell for our actions…I must atone…

The Look of Love: Week 14

I think this week tested the old tried and true statement: “The things we do for love”

Let me preface all of this (before the husband does) and say that yes, I do in fact enjoy the band we went to see. However I did not enjoy the 3 bands preceeding.

This past Friday the husband and I joined some friends and traveled down to Myrtle Beach to go to the Dethklok concert.

For those who don’t know (and didn’t click the link, for shame!) Dethklok is the fictitious heavy metal band that the cartoon Metalocalypse is about. The creator of the show does most of the show’s vocals and decided it would be awesome to go on tour. (side note, it is rather awesome to see him switch in and out of characters)

In the end, it was fun and was totally worth it to see my husband act all giddy.

Who doesn’t love a bucket of beer?

Side note: 6 Yuenglings in a bucket at a restaurant? $12
1 16oz Miller Lite (they didn’t have Yuengling at the venue,
that was a sign I should have paid attention to…)? $5.25.

Should have stayed at the restaurant…

After the concert, while standing outside waiting to meet the band.

We didn’t get home from the concert until 5am. Needless to say, I didn’t do much of anything on Saturday.

Saturday night we went to play with some friends. One of our friend’s sister came over and I think my face pretty much sums up how I feel about her…

*kisses*

Smiley Count: 3

Pre-Hiccups

It was a great party. It certainly was. Too bad I missed half of it! Though apparently the half I got to participate in was the better half, but I’ll get more into why in my ‘Post-Hiccups’ post

The husband and I carved our pumpkins. He free-handed his Batman pumpkin and I free-handed my pumpkin that I named Wanda Sue

Among the many hors d’oeuvre I also made a cheeseball man. (and he was delicious!)

After several attempts I captured a “smize” worthy self portrait

Ghetto Batman lurked and kept us party-goers safe

A friend brought mini highlifes (didn’t know they existed!)

And other friends insisted I drink one using only my boobs. (reason #397238957 why it’s awesome to have boobs? Natural Beer Shelf )

So yeah, pre-hiccups was awesome! We played beer pong and watched some of a Nightmare on Elm Street movie and ate good party foods and just enjoyed spending time with friends.

Then the hiccups descended…

*kisses*

Smiley Count: 6

The Look of Love: Week 13

Happy Halloween y’all! I promise a post later about my Halloween party. That will be in two parts: pre-hiccups and post-hiccups. (for those who don’t know, hiccups are my kryptonite) It was one crazy night!

I was a pirate thanks to Kari and the husband was Ghetto Batman. He decided apparently that he wants to add something to his costume every year. Which is fine, but next year he’s going to have to add two things b/c he’s never getting that grappling hook back after he tried using it to climb down our balcony…twice. (And that was pre-hiccups, just imagine the trouble people were getting into post-hiccups.)

After some friends came over to help us clean up the destruction we all decided to go out to lunch. Look how tired we look! My hair is epic.

*kisses*

Smiley Count: 2

The Look of Love: Week 12

Alternate title: Before the husband got sick…

Alternate, alternate title: I cleaned my house all weekend b/c my husband got sick and we’re having a party this weekend…

This is pretty much how every first picture of the weekend looks. It’s annoying and I’d like for my husband to stop it. B/c you know it only results in my slapping him and making him even more uncomfortable by having to take another picture. (also making him uncomfortable? getting slapped, in public, by me, on the regular)

I had our friend Lori take these pictures b/c I realized the majority of our pictures are taken by me.

And then I went ahead and took a self-shot. B/c I’mawesome like that

*kisses*

Smiley Count: 2

Colored tights…

Before I get a slew of comments telling me I should be more careful, let me preface this with the following:

1. I have no danger rader
2. This happened in broad daylight with at least 10 eye witnesses
3. Yesterday I rocked a pair of electric blue tights
4. Seriously, no danger radar…at all…

Yesterday during my 3 o’clock lull I took a walk to the convenience store to get myself a Diet Dr. Pepper (read: nectar of the gods).

As I was waiting to cross the street someone honked at me. Thinking they appreciated the blueness of my tights, I smiled and waved politely and then made my way across the street continuing on in my quest for the delicious refreshment that would bring me out of my daily work coma.

To my surprise the man driving the car that honked at me had pulled into the convenience store, rolled down his passenger window and motioned me over.

(YES…I know that I should have just ignored him but lest you forget: No Danger Radar )

Also, I’m a super nice person who thinks the best of everyone…

That’s the definition of having no danger radar…isn’t it?

So I walked over thinking he was lost and needed directions.

And this conversation took place:

Creepy Man in car: “Oh! I’m sorry, you look like someone I’ve givena ride to before.”

Me: “That’s ok, I just have one of those faces.”

CM: “Well do you need a ride?”

Me: “Um, no thanks, I’m right where I need to be.”

When I got back to my office I told this story to one of my co-workers and she wondered what happened to the woman who looks like me that he gave a ride to before. Personally I think he made a skin suit out of her. (obvi the clip below is NSFW)

Hehe

Side note: When I got in the store a man getting a fountain drink told me he liked my “stockings”. When I told him I also have a hot pink pair he said I must have a lot of confidence.

Why yes, yes I do

*kisses*

Smiley Count: 5